I recently had the experience of trying GameTap. It's a pretty easy thing to try as they give you three days of mostly hastle-free trial. On the surface, the site is slick, the interface is intuitive and "sexy" and it looks very promising. Free trial? Why not! You just have to make sure you put it through its paces before your three days are up. And like the aforementioned song, it's supposed to be an orgy of gaming...thousands of games to play with and the world is your playpen. And you have three days to tap as much of it as possible.

Well, that's mostly true, but here's the problem. It's an orgy with old people and some people that don't have the functioning body parts to actually partake. Sorry for the visual, but let's get down to the nuts of it.

I first tried to load up Myst, as it was a game I used to have on my Old Mac II back in the day, and there is no real way to get a version of it now. First, you actually wait as it downloads the entire game to your machine, and then when it's done, you can start playing. And of course it doesn't work. Not even close to working. Quicktime version 2.5 or some such doesn't exist anymore and there really is no way that it was going to fly. Thus, we have an integral body part missing...or is it broken?

Now, I could also play 'Asteroids' or 'Joust', but really, I could probably find freeware or even a Javascript implementation of either of those games on the internet for free...and just as good. Hell, I can probalby get those games on my phone for crying out loud. Old...old and not attractive really (and free).

Then there's the middle ground. The NES or SuperNES games. These have some nastalgic qualities to them...the good 'ol days. However the really "good ones" are invariably already in a "Collection" of sorts on your up-to-date console. And Live Arcade is going to quickly catch up and curtail any of your desire for that type of...er...Tail.

I'm not trying to "K" someone's "B" here...I'm sure there is a great big 'ol market for GameTap'ers, just not me...I've had too much experience with the "High Class" stuff, to feel good about going into a room full of old, dirty, whore-ish games.